Rewriting the Future
by kdzl
Summary: Sometimes a glance into the future is enough to give us hope for the present. JJ/Hotch, disclaimers inside.
1. Chapter 1

**_AN/ So, this is a fun surprise. It's another collaberation between SSBAILEY and I. She's really great, and to all of you waiting patiently for me to finish my other stories--don't worry, we're on track for that. This is set about a year after the events in 100._**

**Disclaimer: We don't own Criminal Minds.**

**_

* * *

_**Chapter 1 -

Hotch groaned as the blackness swam before his eyes, the sickening pain in his head throbbing against the soft whirring of the ceiling fan.

_What happened?_

His mind struggled to form coherent thoughts, even as he creaked one eye open to survey his surroundings only to clamp his eyes closed tightly to dissuade the lights from assaulting his senses.

A room. For some reason, that didn't feel right-he remembered a ladder, and lights, and snow.

_Where's the snow?  
_  
As the pain the back of his head subsided, he was hit with the ridiculousness of his previous thoughts. Opening his eyes, he winced as the pain returned, less forcefully this time. Pursing his lips into a tight line, he gingerly patted the offending injury, surprised to find an icepack already resting lightly on what he suspected would be a large goose-egg.

_How did I get here? The last thing I can remember is hitting the ground after the ladder fell...  
_  
Opening his eyes wider this time, he found himself in what appeared to be a very large bedroom painted a rich coffee color that seemed to match the cream colored furniture--all but the very large wooden bed he was resting on. There were pictures on the walls and tables of different people, most he recognized.

"Sssh daddy's still sleepin'. Momma said no waken him up Jack-Jack." A soft, child-like voice whispered just loud enough for him to hear. Who is this little girl and why is she calling me daddy?

"Morgan ssh! I just gotta get my gameboy" Jack quieted, "I left it in here earlier."

"What're you guys doing? Mom will kill you if she finds out you woke up Dad." Another voice chimed in as Hotch heard a form of loud tiptoeing towards the small seating area in the room. "She's in one of her 'moods', or whatever dad calls them."

"Henry James!" A familiar voice shouted, one that could only belong to Jennifer Jareau. "I told you not to...Jack, Morgan! Everybody down stairs now! I said don't wake up your father, he hit his head pretty hard and needs to rest a while."

The soft groanings of the children on the other side of the door suggested that JJ had managed to keep them at bay.

As Hotch drifted back into unconsciousness, he was plagued by one more question.

_Their father?_


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Opening his eyes once more, Hotch was relieved to find that the pain in his head had lessened considerably. He quickly stood to inspect the injury in the nearest mirror, and grimaced at the trace amounts of blood that remained around a small cut that was surrounded by a large bump.

He stood their for just a moment before a glimmer of light caught his eye. Holding up his left hand in surprise, he was shocked to find a platinum ring on his left finger.

What's going on?

No sooner had the thought escaped him than the door to the bedroom creaked open ever so slightly.

"I'm so glad to see you're awake." A familiar voice said calmly. "How are you feeling?"

"JJ?" He asked perplexed, ignoring her question. _Am I at her house?_

"Here, I brought you some painkillers, I thought they might help." JJ offered him a glass with two large pills. "I called Garcia and told her what happened, and she offered to take the kids for the night so you can get some rest. I'm going to walk them down to her house and I'll be back in a few minutes."

"Okay?" Hotch answered, his voice clouded with confusion as JJ made her way towards the doorway.

JJ looked sort of unsettled, but nodded nevertheless. Hand resting on what appeared to be a small baby pooch, she continued, "I'll start dinner when I get back. Why don't you get a shower, it might make you feel better?"

Nodding, Hotch agreed. A shower would make him feel better. Before JJ could make her exit, Hotch quickly stopped her. "I guess I just need a change of clothes. I guess I could--" He was beginning to ask if Will had anything he could borrow when JJ cut him off.

"I just folded the last wash, so you've got plenty of clean clothes in the dresser." She looked at him with skepticism, as if she was trying to determine whether he really was okay.

"Oh." Hotch stated, completely taken aback.

"Are you sure you're okay? I can have Garcia come up here--you know, I should probably do that. I'm not sure I should leave you alone--you probably have a concussion--" She began to ramble and Hotch smiled in spite of himself.

He couldn't help but chuckle. It wasn't very often that Jennifer Jareau rambled, and Hotch felt an immediate need to assure her quickly. "No, it's okay. I'll be fine."

"Are you sure?" JJ asked once more, and it didn't take his profiling training to know that she was worried.

"I'll be fine." Hotch insisted once more.

JJ seemed unsure, but nodded reluctantly. "I'll be back in about ten minutes."

* * *

"My favorite kiddos are here!" Garcia cheered happily as she met them in her front yard. "I'm so excited!"

"Pen-Pen!" Morgan shouted, taking off running towards her favorite person in the world. "I mwiss yous!"

"I missed you too baby girl!" Garcia smiled picking up the small girl off the ground. We're going to have so much fun today, and don't worry mom, I promise not to let her temporary dye her hair again. Scout's honor."

"No matter how festive you think red and green streaks would look?" JJ questioned as Jack and Henry hugged Garcia before tearing off into the house. "Promise?"

"Dang it Jayje. You're no fun!" Garcia pouted, "But I promise. So tell me, how's Hotch-man doing?"

"Uh still a little disorented, but mostly fine. He was taking a shower when we left."

"Well what are you still standing here for then? You're gorgeous husband is showering and your standing here freezing with me?" Garcia questioned in a disappointed tone, "Shame, shame. Where are your priorities?"

"Pen, it's stuff like that and a random fluke of the flu that got me pregnant with child number four." JJ smirked, "I'm not looking to have my own version of 'Cheaper By The Dozen' here."

"Well too late for that." Garcia laughed. "When y'all get at it like rabbits, it's bound to happen." Garcia scoffed happily.

"Great." JJ rolled her eyes. "But I should get back."

"Definitely," Penelope agreed. "With the kids out of the house, who knows what fun you and the old boss man can have, right?" She scoffed knowingly.

"Does the fact that he probably has a concussion mean anything to you?" JJ smirked.

"Yeah, it means a lot to me. I just don't know that it means anything to _you_." Garcia deadpanned as JJ chuckled and shook her head.

"As much as my sex life fascinates you, I really should get going." JJ smiled in spite of herself. Today had been filled with worry, and Garcia's teasing relieved the tension immensly.

"Have fun." Garcia called as JJ opened the door and entered the cool air of early December.

* * *

Hotch wasted no time as JJ left. She would be back soon, and he needed all the time he could get to figure out what was going on. If there was anything Aaron Hotchner hated, it was being oblivious to what was happening around him. He quickly moved over to the dresser to inspect what clothing could possibly be there. Sure enough, his favorite Georgetown sweatshirt was neatly folded in the second drawer. Grabbing his sweatshirt, underclothes, and a pair of pants, he rushed to the bathroom where he quickly showered and dressed.

The sooner he could get to the bottom of this, the sooner he could get home.

After showering quickly, and finding all his normal bathroom stuff in the Master bathroom, he quickly made his way downstairs stopping when he reached a large room filled with pictures that could only be the living room. Making his way towards the mantle he found pictures of everyone he knew and a few people he didn't recognize.

First was a picture of the team on what looked to be Reid's 31st birthday with JJ and Garcia happily smearing icing on the young genius's face. Next, in a rather eccentric frame, was a picture of Garcia in a white and limegreen dress tossing a boquet behind her. _Had Garcia married Kevin?_ In the next frame he found a picture of himself holding a small bundle wrapped in a pink blanket, standing next to a sleeping JJ's hospital bed. A small silver frame cleverly placed in front of a larger candlestick held a photo of --no, no it couldn't be...--David Rossi proposing to Cece Hillenbrand. The woman he'd known for years from working with her on the Matloff case. Strange. But why were there no pictures of Morgan and Prentiss other than the team photo?

Noticing a small arrangement of photos near what had to be the largest Christmas tree he'd ever seen, Hotch made his way towards them to find them all of Emily Prentiss and Derek Morgan--with the words _"In memory of two amazing friends, may you never be forgotten"_ painted on the wall in the center of the group of photos.

_What is going on?_


	3. Chapter 3

**_AN/Thanks for all of the great reviews. Hope you enjoy!_**

Chapter 3

JJ gently pushed open the front door to her home, not wanting to disturb her husband if he were sleeping.

Hotch, however, stood in the middle of the front room, studying the pictures in front of him.

Noticing the pictures he was looking at she sighed, "It's been almost three years since we lost them."

Startled, Hotch glanced over at the door quickly, "On a case...?"

"You don't remember?" JJ asked, failing to mask the worry in her eyes.

"We just haven't talked about them in a long time." Hotch hedged, not wanting to admit his confusion.

"Aaron--" JJ sighed, debating whether or not to call a doctor. She knew how much he hated hospitals, and that was one of the reasons she hadn't insisted on taking him after he fell, but she was starting to worry.

Hotch could see the gears turning in her mind and quickly interrupted, "Some things are just a little foggy." He conceded, certain that if JJ felt that he were opening up to her, that she would be more likely to accept his explanations. "What happened to them?"

"You remember how Emily was after Morgan's heart attack" JJ continued, choosing not to think about her husband forgetting how his friends died. "Garcia told me once that Emily was going to finally tell him how she felt that night. She was on her way over when Dave called her to tell her that he and Reid had rushed Morgan to the hospital."

"How she felt?" Hotch queried.

JJ nodded and continued, "We were all pretty torn up afterwards, you especially. I remember you telling me that Derek Morgan was the closest friend you had after Hailey died other than me. We didn't work a case for three weeks after that, Strauss put us all on mandatory leave. The first case we took after we came back was a bomber who ended up holding his two kids captive in their day care with a bomb attached to him. Emily saved the kids by sacrificing herself."

Hotch's stomach dropped as he picked up one of the photos. The guilt swept over him quickly as he felt oddly responsible for Emily and Morgan's demise.

"Listen, I think I'm going to go for a drive. Clear my head. Do you remember where I put my keys?" Hotch asked, immediately feeling the need to talk to Sean, the only person who he had ever really shared everything with.

"They're in the bowl by the door. I think you're cell phone is in there too." JJ answered, a worried look on her face. "Are you sure you're okay?"

"I'm fine" Hotch smiled, kissing her forehead on his way out the door.

-----

Hours later found him waiting for Sean in front of two graves he'd hoped he'd never see-- Emily Anne Prentiss and Derek Christopher Morgan. They were buried side by side, almost as if they had been a married couple, and it was obvious that someone had been by here often to take care of the area surrounding the headstones.

"What are you doing here? You scared JJ half to death." Sean scolded as he approached the two graves.

"What's going on here, Sean. One minute, I'm hanging lights with Jack, and the next, I'm married to JJ with three kids and one on the way. I have no idea what's happening here." He admitted, allowing his vulnerability to be seen.

"Penelope mentioned that you hit your head, but I didn't think it was this serious." Sean furrowed his brow in contemplation. "You don't remember them?"

"No, not a thing." Hotch sighed, grateful that his younger brother believed him.

"I knew I should have told Pen to make JJ take you to the hospital." Sean muttered.

"If I wanted a doctor, I'd go myself. I don't. It's just--none of this makes any sense." Hotch narrowed his eyes seriously.

"Well what do you want from me?" Sean asked.

"I don't know." Hotch groaned exasperatedly, "Answers?"

"About what?"

"What year is it? I have a daughter? Am I insane?" He listed off the questions that had been plaguing him since he had awoken.

"Fine. It's 2015. Yes, you have a daughter, and I have never seen someone as wrapped around a little girl's finger as you are. You dote on that girl like she was the Queen of England. And to be honest, I always thought you were a little crazy." Sean deadpanned.

"Very funny." Hotch replied sarcastically, "And...wait. How do you know Penelope Garcia?"

Sean just sighed as he held up his left hand to reveal a simple golden band around his ring finger. "I married her."


	4. Chapter 4

**_AN/ Merry Christmas!_**

* * *

Chapter 4

Aaron took a step back, dazed at Sean's revelation. "You--_what?_"

"I married her." Sean shrugged. "Best decision I've ever made." He chuckled as he looked at his older brother's shocked expression. "Aaron, can I give you a piece of advice?"

"Sure." He agreed quickly. Any ideas on how to figure out what was going on would help immensely.

"I've seen you over the last five years. I've seen how you've changed, how you've grown. What a better person and father you've become."

"What's your point?" Hotch narrowed his eyes at his brother.

"Don't mess up the best thing in your life." Sean clapped his hand on his brother's shoulder reassuringly.

* * *

Quietly entering what appeared to be his home, Hotch heard laughter coming from what could only be the kitchen. Dropping his keys on the table near the door, he made his way to observe what was happening.

"Jack-Jack stop ticklin' me!" Morgan screamed before doubling over in laughter, "I wanna help mommy make cookies with Henwry."

He couldn't help but smile at the obvious delight that graced his son's face. Jack had aged, but the sandy colored hair and bright brown eyes were unmistakable. Jack laughed heartily, and Hotch realized it was that happiness that had seemed to be unattainable in the year since Hailey's death. Maybe this wasn't so bad after all.

The pair of children seemed to spot him as the little girl cried happily, "Daddy!"

"Hey." Hotch grunted as her small body hit him with force that he wasn't expecting from her small body.

"Jack-Jack's been ticklin' me." She said seriously, reminding him of a confidential informant.

"Should we get him?" Hotch smiled, feeling his spirits soar as the little girl nodded and pressed a finger to her lips. "Go!" Hotch cried as they both attacked his son.

"Jack-Jack Attack!" Morgan cried as she found her brother's ticklish spot. "We's got yous now!"

"Aaron! Aaron come here!" JJ called, her voice almost frantic as she held her hand to her stomach. "Put your hand right here."

Doing as she asked, he felt a small round object kick him in the hand. "The baby's kicking" he smiled, allowing himself to enjoy all that he would have never admitted that he wanted.

"Emily's kicking?" Henry interrupted, "Can I feel?"

"Sure sweetheart." JJ guided the boy's hand along her stomach, her grin wider than Hotch had ever remembered.

"Wow!" The boy replied, his grin matching JJ's as he felt the soft puttering against his hand.

"Can I feel?" Jack asked interestedly.

"Me too?" Morgan piped up.

"Maybe after dinner." JJ smiled, feeling their daughter begin to settle once more inside of her.

"Hey mom?" Henry asked, his face showing that he was in deep thought.

"Yeah?"

"Instead of having dinner here can we take dinner to Uncle Dave at the hospital? We haven't been by to see him lately." Henry suggested while his siblings nodded in agreement. "I bet he doesn't even have a Christmas tree up in his room."

"No twee?" Morgan gasped. "Mommy we haaaavvvee to get Unca Davy a twee!"

"Ask your father, and if he feels okay we can go." JJ replied before turning back to the kitchen. "But we need to get going if we're gonna go, it's almost seven and you guys need to get into bed early. We've got a big day tomorrow."

"Aww mom." Jack groaned, followed by Henry.

"Sorry guys, that's the way it is." JJ shrugged, "So Aaron, what do you think?"

"Sure, I think Dave could use the company." Hotch tried, hoping what he was saying would make sense. "But could you drive JJ? I'm still kinda lightheaded."

"Of course" JJ smiled, kissing him on the cheek. "Okay get your coats on guys while I wrap this up. We'll need to stop and Target and get a tree for Uncle Dave on the way."

* * *

"Well if it isn't the most beautiful tree I've ever seen" David Rossi smiled, hugging Jack, Morgan, and Henry too him as they took in the small Christmas tree in awe. "I'm so glad you guys came to visit me."

"We miss you Unca Dave" Morgan informed, hugging him tightly. "Yous get better and come home with us, kay?"

"I'll try munchkin." Dave smiled, hoping that his cancer would disappear soon. "From you lips to God's ears."

"Hey guys, I'm sorry but we've got to go" JJ smiled apologetically, "But maybe we can come back by tomorrow afternoon if it's okay with Uncle Dave."

"You guys are always welcome."

"Yay!" All three children cheered as they said goodbye to their "Uncle".

"Hotch can you hang around for a second? I wanna ask you something." Dave asked as JJ led the kids out of the room. "I promise I won't keep him long JJ."

"Take as much time as you like." JJ smiled, closing the hospital room door behind her and the kids. "We'll meet you in the car Aaron."

After the sounds of Christmas carols faded away from the room, Dave sighed. "You have no idea what's going on do you?"

"Not a damn clue." Hotch answered, rubbing his hand over his face tiredly. "Earlier I hit my head and now I have no idea who's who and what's what. It's like the last six years are blank. I don't even know what kind of cancer you have."

"Prostate. Stage 2." Dave informed, taking a sip of water. "The doctor's caught it early so they're hoping that they'll be able to stop it with Chemo."

"I'm sorry" Hotch said sincerely.

"Don't be, it happens to the best of us." Rossi smiled, "It was actually Reid that suggested I go get checked out. He's doing research at the Mayo Clinic now."

"Good for him. Oh and I just found out that Garcia is my sister in law."

"Yeah, they eloped and decided to announce it at Sean's law school graduation party. You could say that you were _surprised. _JJ had to take you outside and calm you down." Dave laughed, "The look on your face was priceless. Especially when they told you about the baby."

"What baby?" Hotch asked, eyes wide with shock.

"Little Derek, they adopted him from South Korea. The two weeks after Derek was home Garcia found out she was pregnant--twins."

"Wow."

"You can say that again." Rossi laughed before turning serious. "But you need to tell JJ that you don't remember, let her help you."

"I will, thanks Dave." Hotch nodded, moving towards the door, "See you tomorrow?"

"I'll be here."

* * *

"I'm sorry JJ." Hotch answered softly as the blonde came into the bedroom and laid down next to him.

"Sorry, why are _you_ sorry? You can't remember anything, and you're_ sorry?_" She asked incredulously. "I just don't understand why you didn't tell me sooner."

Hotch fell silent, sure that there had to be something he could say to placate her. After a moment, he could feel her worrying silently, and decided that this had to stop. "JJ, how did we--" He gestured between them. "How did this happen?"

Her face softened. "I'm not quite sure what happened myself. It was all pretty fast. What's the last thing you remember?"

"You were dating Will. Hailey died and it was Christmas a year after she had died. I was putting up Christmas lights."

JJ nodded, her mind reviewing their lives since that time. "A lot has happened since then."

"You're telling me." Hotch chuckled. "So what happened to Will? Where is he now?"

JJ bit her lip unconsciously, "Will lives up in Maryland now, he works for Baltimore PD. Henry went up there for Thanksgiving, so he's with us over Christmas." She explained.

"And what happened back then?" He prodded, desperate to know how he had attained the simple family life he had always found was just slightly out of reach for him while he was with Hailey.

"Well Will gave me a sort've ultimatum. He proposed, and told me I had until New Years Eve to decide what I wanted." JJ answered softly, "He said he either wanted to start the new year as a engaged couple or not a couple at all."

"So why did you say no?"

"Because you asked me to." JJ smiled, her mind remembering Hotch's romantic speech he had given her late one night when he had shown up at her hotel room door. "We were on a case in Ohio, and it was the night before we were supposed to go home. Out of nowhere you just showed up at my hotel room in the middle of the night in a pair of worn Georgetown shorts and your hair all a mess telling me not to marry Will and that you loved me. You wanted to be with me forever and that you knew you weren't perfect, but you promised to try to be the best husband and father every day for the rest of our lives."

"And that's why you picked me?"

"No, I picked you because I could see that you meant every word you were saying just by looking you in the eyes." JJ informed, softly running her hand along his cheek, "You told me you loved me, and for the first time in any relationship I've ever had I didn't feel like I should run the other way."

Seeing that he was quickly falling asleep JJ snuggled up to him, "Go to sleep, baby. We'll talk more tomorrow."

Finally feeling like maybe everything would really be okay, Hotch quickly fell into an uneasy slumber, grateful, at least, that he had JJ to help him figure this all out.


	5. Chapter 5

**_AN/Okay, so several people reviewed saying that they had no idea what was going on. I hope this clears it up. If not, let us know and we'll see if we can clarify in the next update. _**

**_Enjoy!_**

* * *

A few hours later Hotch found himself waking up to an empty bed, but with the sounds of a TV floating quietly across the room. Shifting over to see who was watching TV, he was completely startled to find Derek Morgan stretched out across one of the small couches in his bedroom. "Morgan? How...? I mean, I thought...?"

"Hey man, welcome back to the land of the living." Morgan chuckled, "You've been out for awhile."

"But JJ?"

"JJ took Jack and Henry over to her apartment so she could get some PJ's and stuff. She didn't want you to stay here alone tonight after you hit your head." Morgan responded, "You okay? You look a little confused."

"It...it's nothing. Just a dream I had while I was out." Hotch dismissed, hoping Morgan would believe him. Sitting up, he asked, "What day is it again?"

"It's December 21st. We just got back from our last case before the holidays yesterday morning." He looked at Hotch with concern.

"December 21st?" Hotch mused aloud, his mind still reeling as he tried to place what was happening. "Then why are you here?"

Morgan looked at him searchingly, "Jack called and said you had hit your head. He was worried."

Hotch sighed and rubbed his chin thoughtfully, grateful that he had at least _some_ semblance of what was going on. Yet he couldn't help the sudden pang in his chest at the realization that the comfort that he had found was missing.

"You look like you could use something to eat. Come on, let's go get a cheese burger."

Remembering what had happened to his friend in his "dream", Hotch suggested, "Actually I'm not sure my stomach can handle it, I feel kind of nauseated. What about something lighter?"

"Yeah sure man, whatever you want." Morgan smiled.

* * *

"Will, I just think I should stay with him one more night. Ever since he fell he's been acting strange." JJ argued as she got into her car after leaving the BAU for the day. Will had been calling her all afternoon to argue about she and Henry staying at Hotch's another night. "He just seems different, not in a bad way, but different."

_"Jayje tomorrow is Christmas eve." Will reasoned, "We should be spending time as a family around the holidays, not you and our son spending time with Agent Hotchner and his son."_

"You know I would come home if I thought he would be okay, Will." JJ seethed. _Who did he think he was asking her to abandon her friends when something could still be wrong with him?_

_"Yeah, well I'm not so sure anymore." Will yelled, and she could hear him hit something in the background. "Look maybe we should take a break JJ, just for a few days."_

"Maybe we should." JJ agreed, pulling into the daycare to pick up Henry. "I'll call you later to work out a plan so you can see Henry on Christmas day."

_"Whatever"_ _Will didn't bother to wait for her response before cutting off the phone._

She groaned inwardly, knowing that she wasn't making it easy for him. But how did he expect her to just abandon Hotch when he needed help? Especially with Hailey's death the year before--how could she just ignore him when he could have been seriously injured?

* * *

JJ tossed restlessly in her own bed several nights later, replaying the conversation with the man sleeping next to her as she tried to come to some sort of a solution.

_"JJ, we need to talk." Will sighed as he shuffled his feet anxiously while he stood outside Hotch's home._

_"I'm listening." She huffed slightly, still angry that he insinuated that she didn't view their family as a priority._

_"I don't know that I can do this anymore." Will rubbed his hand through his brown hair. "I can't stand playin' second fiddle while all you wanna do is find a banjo player."_

_"What's that supposed to mean?" She asked, slightly taken aback._

_"It means I need to know. I need a commitment. It means, that you have until New Years to decide if you wanna marry me. If not--" He shrugged. "Then we know. But I love you."_

_She softened, the admission of his love warming her own soul. "I love you too Will, it's just--"_

_"I know. I know you love Henry, and I know you love me." He smiled, cutting her off effectively as they stepped closer in a reconciling hug. It was only as they pulled away that he looked at her with a hint of sadness, "I just need more."_

_"Will, I just need time to--"_

_"Sssh." He placed a finger to her lips. "You don't have to explain to me, Cher. But I just need to know where this is all goin'."_

_JJ sighed defeatedly. She knew that Will desperately wanted the white-picket fence and the complete "American Dream" but she just wasn't sure. It wasn't fair to him--she knew that--but she just couldn't force herself to commit. Looking up, she saw the lines of worry etched into his face and knew she had to agree._

_"By New Years, I'll have an answer." She promised, having a sickening feeling of dread that the answer may just force her into the life she never wanted._

_"I know you're helping your friend," He said, barely able to hide his displeasure but not wanting to start another argument."So I'll see you back at home."_

Deciding she was never going to fall asleep, she got up and made her way into Henry's room to find him wide awake as well. Picking up the growing boy, JJ whispered, "What's wrong baby? Why aren't you sleeping?"

"Miss 'otch and 'ack" Henry pouted, crossing his little arms.

"I miss them too" JJ sighed, sitting down in the rocking chair next to Henry's bed. "Alot."

"Me 'woves 'otch and 'ack" Henry yawned snuggling into her chest as she began to rock him softly.

"Me too." JJ said absently, her eyes widening once she realized what she'd said. "Henry..I think things just became a whole lot more complicated."

* * *

_Ring. Ring._

"Jareau" JJ answered sleepily as she quickly picked up her Blackberry so it wouldn't wake Henry. Surprisingly, they had spent the entire night sleeping in his rocking chair.

_"Agent Jareau, this is Anderson. There's been a child abuction out in Ohio that Strauss wants your team on." _

'Great' JJ groaned to herself, cursing the hours she would have to spend with Hotch. After her startling realization the night before she knew that she would have to keep her distance from Hotch if she was going to make her decision. Something about him made her rational side go out the window, and she needed to decide if her feelings for Hotch were more than just a fleeting attraction.

"Okay, I'll gather the team. Thanks for the heads up Anderson." JJ sighed, putting Henry down in his bed. "By the way, what time is it?"

_"It's just after four in the morning ma'am." _

"No wonder it feels like I just went to sleep." JJ murmured. "Tell Strauss that the team will be at the airstrip in half an hour."


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

JJ paced slightly in the Conference Room of the large precinct. Not only was she frustrated at the inability to help nail down this UnSub, but she genuinely had no idea what she was going to do. Will's ultimatum weighed heavily on her mind, the prospects of spending the rest of her life with him sent a ripple of queasiness throught her, though she wasn't sure why. Will loved her, so why was this so hard?

Hotch smiled as he watched JJ run a frustrated hand through her blonde hair. Had he just envisioned the whole thing? Like some crazy subconscious fantasy that he had never acknowledged?

"Is everything okay JJ?" He asked, unable to keep the concern out of his voice.

"Yeah." She rubbed her temple, exhibiting the stress she felt. "It's fine. It's just personal."

"You want to talk about it over coffee? I'll buy." Hotch offered, picking up his coat. "I'm giving everyone a twenty minute break to clear their heads. We need to take a step back and hopefully find a different angle to look at it."

"Yeah, okay." JJ mumbled, grabbing her things. "Coffee sounds great."

* * *

"So what's going on JJ?" Hotch ventured as they sat down in a small local diner near the precinct with two steaming cups of coffee.

"Will is what's going on." JJ sighed, giving up on holding anything back from Hotch. She had always found it easier to talk to him than most of the people she knew for some reason. "He gave me this stupid ultimatium."

"An ultimatum for what?"

"Well he sort've...kinda proposed and told me that I had until New Year's to decide. He basically said that if I don't want to marry him then he wants to end things between us." JJ admitted, feeling a strange sense of relief at telling someone about what was happening, but odd at the fact that the first person she chose to tell was the main reason she was considering saying no to Will.

Hotch gaped at her in shock. This can't be happening, can it?

"I know, right?" She rolled her eyes. "It's so childish." She sighed, "I mean, I get where he's coming from. He deserves so much better than me, and I just..." She shook her head in derision, "No guy would put up with what I put him through. I mean, I get called away all the time and--"

"JJ." He interrupted her, shaking his head. "Why would you say he deserves better than you?" He was genuinely baffled. He had no idea that there was even the slightest crack in JJ and Will's relationship.

"He just does." She admitted. "With our hours? Like I said, no guy would put up with what I put him through."

"I would." Hotch said quietly, looking out the window next to their booth.

"What?" JJ asked, startled. Had he really just said that to her?

"Wait a second. JJ didn't all three boys parents mention that they had taken them ice skating just before they were kidnapped?" Hotch questioned, the billboard across the street giving him the final piece of the puzzle.

"Yes, but they all went to different ice rinks." she responded, trying to keep up, her mind still trying to figure out his earlier comment.

"But what do all ice rinks have to keep you warm after you finish skating?" Hotch asked pointing to the add across the street that read _'Winter Wonderland Hot Chocolate Stands. Book online for your ice skating venue activities today.',_ "Call Garcia and have her find out if all three venues had one of these stands and who was running them the day the boys went with their parents."

"Okay..." JJ nodded, taking out her phone.

"Let's get back to the precinct" Hotch decided while JJ waited on Garcia to pick up. "We need to be ready to move if she finds us a suspect."

* * *

Hours later they had successfully captured the UnSub, and Hotch found himself lying awake in the middle of the night, contemplating what to do. On the one hand, he knew JJ had the ultimatum with Will. If that was true, then was his entire dream true? More than that, what should he do? Should he go and stop her? Or let her go?

He had to know. There had to be an answer--he just wasn't sure what.

Deciding to go for a quick run on the hotel's treadmill, he pulled on his favorite pair of Georgetown shorts and an old t-shirt and headed out the door with his hotel key in hand. Realizing once he got to the gym he hadn't put on his tennis shoes, and that he had spent the whole walk thinking about JJ, he realized he didn't really feel like running anyways.

Climbing into the elevator he was joined by none other than Morgan and Garcia coming back from dinner.

"What's up Boss-man?" Garcia questioned.

"Just thinking" Hotch said dismissively. "I can't decide what to do." He wasn't about to divulge the complete truth to his well-meaning colleagues, but hoped that his response would be enough to satiate Garcia's quest for endless amounts of information.

"When in doubt just go with your heart, man" Morgan chimed in. "It's the best advice my mama ever gave me."


	7. Chapter 7

**_AN/ Alright, so I've been busy, but it drives me absolutely crazy to have stories unfinished. Sadly, i discovered that this chapter had been finished for a long time, so there really is no excuse. There should only be about one more (short) chapter after this, so Enjoy!_**

* * *

Chapter 7

Hotch paused in front of JJ's door. He had been doing this for nearly a half hour. Shaking his head, he sighed in frustration, This is too inapropriate. Tempted to walk off once more, Morgan's words reverbarated through his mind. "When in doubt, follow your heart."

Taking a deep breath, Hotch finally knocked hesitantly. When she opened the door seconds later he almost forgot what he wanted to say.

"It's about time you knocked" JJ muttered, still half asleep, "I thought you were going to pace outside my room all night."

"JJ, listen I have to tell you something..." Hotch interrupted quickly, his mind racing, "Wait. You knew I was out here?"

"Of course" JJ smiled, amused. "You kept sighing and muttering to yourself, but I never heard what you were saying. It looked like you were trying to figure out something so I just let you be."

"Oh" Hotch said softly, blushing slightly. "Sorry."

"It's okay,do you want to come in?" She gestured, trying to mask her interest in what Hotch could have found so important.

"No." He answered just a little to fast, "I just--" The words stopped, feeling like a heavy weight that he knew he had to push through.

"Well, what did you want to tell me?" She prodded curiously, leaning heavily on the door fram. Truthfully, it had taken every ounce of will-power she could muster to prevent herself from opening the door and confronting the man who had paced for what felt like hours. With the slight blush creeping up Hotch's cheeks, her curiosity was jumping through the roof.

He sighed, determined to at least force the words out of his mouth. "I just wanted to--" He paused involuntarily, his mouth suddenly dry. Why was this so hard? "I wanted to talk to you. About Will." He cringed as he saw JJ's face fall slightly.

"Oh." She stated lamely, ushering him into her hotel room. "Okay."

"I know what its like to be in a relationship where the other person thinks you should be giving more. I always regretted that I wasn't more willing to accommodate Hailey, and before I knew it, she was gone." He explained, not sure why he suddenly had the desire to stall.

JJ eyed him curiously. "Um, thanks." She stated. "I keep trying to tell myself that's what I should do, so--thanks." She couldn't help but feel slightly deflated. She'd known for a long time that she should be sacrificing more for her relationship, but something was holding her back. Standing up straight, she shook her head and grasped the door. "Thanks for the advice."

"Oh." He shifted awkwardly, easily sensing that JJ felt the conversation was over. "No. That's not what I meant." He scratched the back of his head. "What I meant, was that I don't think you should go back to Will." He winced as he realized how odd his statment sounded. "I mean, I don't think that you should marry him. I think you know that there's something else, something better." Hotch cursed himself as he tried to organize his jumbled thoughts. This was not going the way he had intended.

"Why?" She was genuinely curious now, and honestly had no idea where this was coming from. JJ couldn't help but smile at Hotch's obvious nervousness.

"Because--" He sighed, realizing that no matter what, JJ deserved nothing less than the truth. "This is going to sound crazy, but when I hit my head, I woke up somewhere else." He winced at the skeptical look on her face.

"Somewhere else?" She pulled away from him slightly, concerned by what he was saying. "Like you had a concussion and didn't remember getting there?"

"Will you just promise to hear me out?" He asked, knowing that this would take a lot longer if she insisted on repeating everything he said.

She nodded silently, respecting him enough to let him continue to explain.

"No. Like I woke up and it was five years from now." He explained. "I saw my future, our future. JJ, I don't want you to marry Will because I want to be with you."

JJ shifted uneasily, like she was trying to figure out where he was going with this and if he was crazy, but he continued, "We were married and these four beautiful kids, well three and one on the way, and Garcia was married to my brother..."

Stifling the chuckle that errupted within her, JJ held up her hand. "Garcia married Sean? Hotch--" She shook her head. "I don't know what to say."

"JJ, just listen to me, okay?" He asked again, his mind spinning to put together a coherent explanation that didn't make him sound like he had lost touch with reality.

"Fine." She relented, silently reminding herself to request Hotch to get a psych eval.

He sighed, then pressed forward. There was no going back now. "I don't know if it was a dream. But now, I know what I want. This life of ours, it wasn't perfect, we had problems, but it was okay because we were doing it together."

"Hotch--"

"No, JJ. I don't care what you say, I'll wait. I'll be here. Because I've seen what's in store for us. This" He gestured between them, "this is right."

JJ sat silently, contemplating his empassioned speech. She had long ago dismissed the possibility that the electricity between her and Hotch was completely one-sided. The possibility that he felt even remotely the same way was intriguing at least. "We had a daughter?" She asked after a moment.

He nodded, smiling. "She was beautiful."

"I'm...I'm going to need time to think about this." JJ added nervously, this was more than alot to take in.

"But you'll think about it? That's all I'm asking."

"I'll think about it, I promise." JJ whispered, her eyes focused on him, "Do you think you could give me some time alone to to think?"

"Sure" He smiled, knowing that nothing good would come of pushing the issue further. He had laid it on the line, and now it was JJ's turn. Unwilling to let the matter drop, he added one final statement, "JJ, it doesn't matter what you decide, because I've seen what we could be together, and I'll be waiting."

With that, he turned and walked back to his room, hoping that JJ would choose the future he knew they could have.


	8. Chapter 8

Author's Note: Okay, so I know that this chapter has been _ridiculously_ long in coming, but better late than never, eh?

* * *

JJ paced nervously in her hotel room, completely floored by everything that had just happened.

Hotch had practically begged her to give up on her rock-solid future with Will and take a chance on him.

If she thought she had a tough decision to make before, now she was completely stumped.

Even if this magical future that Hotch described existed, Will was the father of her child. She knew Will, she lov—_liked_ Will. She liked him a lot.

But Hotch could be the father of her future children. A future with Hotch seemed unsure.

Will had always accused her of having feelings for Hotch, and truthfully-though she'd never admit it to Will-she had at one time found her dark haired boss appealling. But that was a long time ago. Even if Will maintained that Hotch treated her like more than a trusted colleague, she knew that he was just talking out of jealousy.

But then she remembered the look of betrayal on Hotch's face when he found out she was pregnant.

She wasn't sure she had ever felt so lost.

Sitting down on the bed, she allowed herself to flop down on the lumpy mattress. Staring up at the ceiling, she willed a massive lighting bolt to come down and strike her with enlightenment.

_Why does life have to be so hard?_

She didn't realize how tired she was until she felt her entire body blissfully relax before she immediately fell asleep.

* * *

"Jayje, wake up." A deep Southern drawl prodded her out of sleep.

"Will?" She asked, blinking away the vestiges of sleep. "What are you doing here?"

"I live here." He chuckled good-naturedly. "I've got to get off to work, so I thought I'd make sure you were awake before I left. Henry-"

"No, Will, you can't leave me with Henry, I'm on a case!" She exclaimed, rubbing her brow in annoyance.

"A case?" Will laughed heartily, "Chere, you haven't worked a case in years. That must have been some dream you were having."

An awkward sense that she was missing something settled in her stomach. Looking around at her surroundings, she winced at the ornate gaudy decorations. "Where am I?" She asked, not recognizing the bed she was lying in.

Will looked at her intently. "At home? JJ, are you okay?"

She waved him off instinctively, feeling awkward at his sudden overprotectiveness. "I'm fine. I'm just not firing on all cylinders yet—it's early." She hedged.

"Alright." He relented, his eyes still questioning her. "I started a fresh batch of coffee and Henry's already had breakfast, but there's still food waiting for you. He'll need you to take him to school."

"I know." JJ rolled her eyes at his tone before stopping. "Wait, school?"

"Chere, I'm worried about you." Will sat down on the bed next to her and placed his hand on her forehead. "You don't have a fever, is everything alright?"

"I'm fine. Just—tired." She settled on, feeling incredibly foolish that she had no idea what was going on.

"Well, don't forget the PTA meeting, and signups for football are today too. Henry needs his perfect mother." Will smiled and bent down to kiss her chastely on the lips before walking out the bedroom door.

Slightly perplexed, JJ grabbed a nightgown that was draped along the back of a chair near the bed. She winced as the pristine home in perfect order screamed at her that she didn't belong.

Somehow, she found herself at a large dining room table with a plate filled with food conspicuously next to a chair slightly distanced from the table. "Eat up." Will turned and smiled from behind a large stainless steel refrigerator door. "You wouldn't want your breakfast to get cold."

Still trying to figure out what was going on, JJ made quick work of the fruit and omelet in front of her. "Well, I've got to go to work Chere, I love you."

"Yeah." JJ smiled, masking her confusion as he kissed her goodbye.

When she heard the front door close, she wandered through the house blindly. Every room was in immaculate shape, something that had never been a trait of any home she had ever lived. In fact, this house could easily be photographed in its current state for "Better Homes and Gardens" magazine.

Looking across a desk, she sighed happily at the sight of papers strewn about in an organized disaster—her organized disaster. She looked at the papers strewn along the desk, notes and various bright pads of paper suggested different appointments that governed her day. Her interest was piqued at a small understated notebook tucked away from view in an obscure corner.

Picking up the notebook that felt important, she smiled as she realized it must be some sort of diary. Smirking, she flipped open to a random page and began to read the entry.

_I don't think I can take it anymore. I hate New Orleans. I hate feeling like I don't matter. Today, I cleaned out my Tupperware drawer and organized it—that's how bored I was. Can you imagine that at one point I worked for the greatest unit in the FBI? I can't. Yesterday, I was at PTA meeting and some of the other mothers got in an argument about centerpieces. That's when I knew that I had lost it. When I had to try to mediate between women who wanted fresh flowers and women who wanted fake flowers for the Annual Recognition Ceremony—I, Jennifer Jareau, am completely an urban housewife._

_I thought I wanted this. I thought I wanted the perfect life. But I hate being perfect. I love Will, I love Henry, but I feel like there should be something more…._

JJ winced as she flipped the book to another page. That must not have been a good day.

_…and sometimes I wonder what would have happened if I had listened to Hotch, if I had made another choice…_

Flipping the page again quickly, she looked around if she had been seen. This wasn't what she wanted to focus on. She needed to know where she was at, not think about Will's ultimatum and Hotch's offer.

Focusing on another page, she read the next entry quickly.

_I've always wanted a daughter. As you can guess, I'm still not pregnant. I thought it'd be easy to get pregnant again; Henry was such a surprise that I thought the next one would be just as easy. Dr. Facillier says that nothing's wrong with Will, so the problem must be with me. It's been three years that we've been trying. Will wants to try fertility treatments—but I just don't know that I can handle that—_

JJ shut the book quietly, oddly feeling as if she were prying in someone else's personal affairs.

"Mom?" A young voice asked hesitatingly. "We need to go if I'm not going to be late for school."

JJ turned and tried to hide her shock at the adorable seven year old boy standing in the doorway. His sandy blond hair was just long enough that it was beginning to curl at the edges and his dark blue eyes peered at her questioningly. "Henry?"

The boy rolled his eyes and shook his head. "Yeah, who else would it be? C'mon mom, we've got to go."

* * *

She gasped as she sat up in a cold sweat, shocked and relieved to find herself in a cold Ohio hotel room.

_It was only a dream!_

Lying back down on the bed, she startled for a moment. "Why do I feel so relieved?" She asked herself. There hadn't been anything wrong with the future she and Will held in her dream. Although the diary she had come across seemed to suggest that not everything was perfect, from the outside looking in,

But something was missing.

And she hated feeling like she had to be perfect all the time—something she felt weighing on her during her entire dream.

It was just a dream.

Wasn't it?

She shook her head, _"This is ridiculous!"_ She thought. There was no way she was going to let a dream decide the most important thing in her life.

_Why is this so hard?_

Her face fell as she was struck with a sudden realization—it shouldn't be hard.

This decision was only hard because she kept trying to force herself to make a decision that she didn't want. And she had seen firsthand how her life would turn out if she followed down that road.

Sure, it wasn't a horrible path.

But was she willing to take a chance that there could be something better out there?

Especially if that something better had only hours earlier knocked literally at her door.

Picking up her phone, she dialed a number quickly, not wanting to give herself time to change her mind.

She knew what she had to do, it was just a matter of doing it.

"Will, we need to talk."

* * *

A sharp knock at the door startled Hotch from his restless slumber. He had been anxiously agonizing over what JJ would decide to do. In his flash to the future, JJ had told him that she chose him because he asked her to.

He hoped that he had done enough.

Because after the snapshot into the future, he couldn't help but feel like JJ was the missing piece that would fill a void he hadn't known he had.

The knock sounded again and Hotch jumped to his feet. He didn't bother to check the peephole as he yanked the door open quickly. "JJ." He sighed, unsure of what his future held.

One thing was likely for certain: She had made a decision.

"Hotch, I-"

"No," He stopped her, knowing what she was going to say. He had been too forward-and too late. It was only a hallucination. He couldn't _believe_ that he had been brazen enough to pour out his feelings to JJ. Seeing her blonde hair cascading along her shoulders made him gulp involuntarily as he continued, "JJ, I'm sorry if I put you in an awkward situation, I don't know what came over me..." He stopped as he felt her soft plush lips crash into his.

Momentarily stunned, he melted as his body responded to her immediately. Draping his arm around her, he pulled her in closer, hungrily drawing her in as if she might slip through his fingers.

"I choose you." JJ gasped as she pulled away slightly.

"You do?" He took a step back, smiling though he couldn't comprehend this was really happening.

JJ nodded, "Hotch, with Will everything was certain and I knew how my life was going to turn out. I'm not one to take risks, or take chances. But, I want this. I want this with you. I want to try."

"Are you sure?" He asked lamely.

She chuckled nervously, "Hotch, I saw my future with Will." She winced as she hoped he didn't think her odd, but pressed forward, "And I don't want that future. I want to take a chance-I want to take a risk with you."

Hotch smirked happily. Hopefully, not everything would follow his earlier vision. He still had time to help his friends make changes before it was too late.

Hopefully, they would all be able to rewrite the future for the better.


End file.
